


A Ghost for a Direwolf

by SelkieWife



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Guilt, Internalized Misogyny, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Shame, Theonsa - Freeform, past character death- Lady
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 21:13:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelkieWife/pseuds/SelkieWife
Summary: Based on a thread I was roleplaying as @manyfacedmuse on Tumblr with @snowmaid.This is Theon's reaction if Sansa had insisted he stay with her instead of returning to the Iron Islands at the end of Season 6, Episode 2.





	A Ghost for a Direwolf

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Proskenion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proskenion/gifts).



The snow was curling in her red hair, creating a dance of frost and flames. It reminded him of Robb’s hair during a summer snow. _Robb…_ He stared at the frozen ground, some tears fell unintended, trailing down his scarred face into the snow. Saltwater on ice. No matter what she said, he knew that he had done nothing anyone else wouldn’t have done. And it had taken him so long to merely do that. 

But when she insisted that he stay with them, he raised his eyes to her. Just a brief glance before he rested his gaze on her shoulder. Her cloak was torn there. He couldn’t understand why she was asking him to stay with her. He couldn't protect her the way that Brienne or Pod could. But how could he deny her? When she’d given him back the last small part of himself that was left after Ramsay did his work.

Jon would have his head as soon as he walked through the gates of Castle Black. But wasn’t that what he had asked from the Old Gods? _Let me die as Theon, not as Reek_. He nodded. “I will stay with you,” was all he could manage. He flinched as he saw a spark out if the corner of his eye. _Podrick. I should have let him die_ he thought desperately _then he wouldn’t be around to light fires._ But as he turned his eyes back to Sansa, he saw that she was trembling. A fire was what she needed. And it was growing dark, he noticed with despair.

“You must get warm m’lady,” he said, slipping for a moment back into the language of Reek. He extended his arms to her as he had in the shelter of that hollow tree. But he wasn’t certain if his touch would be welcomed again. Yet, she seemed to melt into his open arms and he led her to where Podrick had set the twigs and branches ablaze. They remained entwined as they sat in silence, watching the hopeful flames burst into a warm blaze. The heat from the fire and having Sansa safe beside him managed to still the fears that plagued him, in spite of the dangers all around them. 

"I promise you will have nothing to fear from Jon." She told him. He closed his eyes. Jon would have his head off immediately upon delivering Sansa to him. Theon knew this. But it wouldn’t do to worry Sansa about it. He must get her there safely. Once she was reunited with Jon, with her true family, she would see the need for him to die. Theon had known worst things than dying, and yet his legs quaked thinking of presenting his head beneath Jon’s icy justice. It was the death he’d feared since he’d been brought to Winterfell as a boy. Under Ramsay, it had become the death he’d prayed for and now... he tried to imagine being executed by Jon Snow with Sansa watching. Would he be able to die with some dignity? Or would he be reduced to the weeping wretched Reek begging for his miserable life? _Please let me die well, please let me die as Theon._

“We can at least tell Jon that Bran and Rickon escaped,” he said as the guilt tightened around his heart. They were likely dead by now. Even if their deaths had not been by his hand, he was still responsible. He was responsible for any harm that befell them. It was his actions that had put them in danger. The past is never past when it still effects the present. Still if anyone could find them it would be Sansa and Jon. 

It was growing darker to Theon’s dismay. They would have to rest here for a bit at least. He saw Podrik and Brienne beginning to make camp. “You must get some rest, Sansa. I will stay awake, keep watch,” he told her. But then he started violently as he heard a twig snap in the darkness.

"It's alright. It was only Podrik," she assured him. "I'm here I will protect you." He raised his eyes to hers. He didn’t know how to react to her saying that she would protect him. It was _he_ that should be protecting her always- what he had failed to do for so long. 

“I will protect you too Sansa,” he promised. He would be her… not _man_. He could never be anyone’s man anymore. He was like her dog. Her missing direwolf. Lady had not managed to escape Ned’s great sword, but Theon had. Jon’s wolf was called Ghost, he remembered. But Sansa’s truly was one. Perhaps he could serve in Lady’s place, protecting her until they made it to Castle Black. But he wasn't a wolf was he? Not quite a wolf, not quite a kraken, not quite a man… but he would protect her regardless. He would die to do so. Theon would guard her as long as she slept with Reek’s watchful eyes. And then he would take her to the wall, protecting and guarding her until Jon made a ghost of him. 


End file.
